Coming Out

Coming out means telling someone that you are GLBTT*. For many, the first person you come out to is yourself, and often this can be the toughest part of coming out. Be gentle with yourself.

Give Yourself Time

We don’t expect heterosexual people to fully develop their sexuality overnight or even within a year, so don’t expect that you will either. Many people don’t figure out that they are GLBTT* until long after puberty; this doesn’t mean that you’re clueless or unaware. It’s just the reality of living in a world where heterosexuality and gender binaries (male/female) are constantly reinforced. It takes a lot of courage to begin questioning your gender or sexuality, let alone to embrace and accept aspects of yourself that the rest of society may reject.

Coming Out Is Your Decision

If or when you decide to come out to other people, it is important for others to respect this as your decision alone. Even if people suspect you might be GLBTT*, they have no right to pressure you into revealing an aspect of yourself if you choose to keep it hidden or private. There are many valid reasons not to come out, and it can be wise to be selective in who you come out to. (see When It’s Not Safe To Come Out). No one should criticize you for being a bad friend or person because you choose to maintain some privacy about who you are.

What Is Best For Your Health?

If you choose to remain closeted (keeping details about your sexuality private) to everyone or just to some groups of people, keep in mind that this can be a strain on your body, both mentally and emotionally. You may consider getting help from a GLBTT*-positive mental health care professional, or finding other ways of supporting your health (see Support Systems). While there are some good reasons to stay in the closet, coming out may bring you one step closer to expressing your true self, contributing to your overall health.